Why Leaders Withdraw When Pain Feels Unmanageable

In this highlight from our longer conversation with Andy Crouch (which can be found here), we explore what happens when suffering feels unmanageable and why so many leaders respond by pulling back, disengaging, or shutting down.

Andy introduces his framework of authority and vulnerability, explaining the four “quadrants” of human experience: flourishing, suffering, withdrawal (safety), and control. He shows how leaders often move from suffering into withdrawal when pain is not brought honestly before God through lament.

Drawing from the Psalms—especially Psalm 88, Andy explains why Scripture gives leaders permission to bring their complaints to God, even when hope feels distant. He also highlights the critical role of priestly presence—the kind of support leaders need when they lack the capacity to act but still need someone to walk with them.

This conversation is especially relevant for pastors, ministry leaders, and anyone navigating burnout, trauma, or prolonged seasons of suffering.

In this highlight, you’ll discover:

• Why leaders withdraw when pain feels unmanageable
• The difference between suffering and withdrawal
• How neglecting lament leads to disengagement and burnout
• Why Psalm 88 matters for leaders in dark seasons
• The role of priests, prophets, and kings in healing leadership wounds
• How leaders can begin moving back toward flourishing